The Sad Tale Of The Third Wife
by thethirdwifeandedward
Summary: Deep in the middle of the Indian forest, a third wife and a new arrival start an unlikely affair of the heart.
1. Chapter 1

**The Sad Tale of the Prologue**

**New Arrival **

**Th ne aruvl swas stelth and true.**

In the middle of the forest, a dark figure. Watch it move,

**The Sad Tale of the Third Wife.**

The third wife sat at her cooking pot in her tepee in the middle of the forest. She was cooking "gay", a local delicacy made from the bones of local albino children. She cackled hoarsely to herself, simply for effect. It was rumoured that she was insane, but she knew she wasn't. Outside a storm was raging. This is a metaphor. Really, it was a bright summer's morning; however, the locals were all in a clamour about a new arrival to the area.

The new arrival was as tall as he was brazen. In the centre of his oval shaped face was his contorted and crooked nose, under which lay a lop-sided mouth. His eyes sparkled with the light of a thousand stars! However, they were crimson as blood and untrustworthy. He stood, completely naked, amidst the villagers, who stared in disbelief at his member, which was white and hairy.

The third wife was not a pretty wife, but a rather plain wife. She had a large hooked nose like a Jews nose, but she was not Jewish, she was poor and lived in a tepee. This makes her a savage and an Indian. An Indian savage. Her face was the colour of red mud, as she suffered terribly from indigestion, and her eyes were permanently squinted as if she was constantly looking at the sun. Her hair was made from children's hair because she set fire to a dead moose and it exploded and burnt away her hair follicles.

Third Wife was not a nice wife, but a rather vicious wife. Whilst her husband tried to calm the villagers, she poked at them with sticks whilst chanting in tongues. This only added to the general commotion. However the joke was on her, as her libido would be her downfall. Whilst she had been taunting the villagers, she had left her "gay" to boil over. It flooded her tepee, and attracted vampires.

The new arrival smelt the vampires before they even started to arrive, because it was a vampire itself. It had the nose of a bloodhound, the eyes of a hawk, the ears of a rabbit and the posture of a monkey. It also had the heart of a boulder. Its heart never once did beat. This made it sad and lonely, and this loneliness turned to a deep malicious hatred for all Indians.

So. It was not long before all The Vampires. – Including the new arrival – had swarmed like a cloud of great white bees to the humble village. It was Third Wife who first spotted them. She cried "oh no! A group of bad vampires!" but as she said it in tongues, no one paid her attention. She was the woman who had cried vampire too many times. For short they called her Vampy. But not very often. As we said, Third Wife was a vicious one.

The vampires attacked with stealth. They sneaked upon the humble villagers like a heard of angry buffalo, but without the give away snorting. They liked children, but they also liked adults. Eventually, they decided to kill everyone. They were vicious with their killing, going straight for the neck and biting. Hard. This caused pain beyond the villagers' humble dreams.

But Third Wife, who was neither brave nor true, hid in a near-by bush. She held her breath, cowardice coursing through her like the very blood the "cold ones" sought.

But Third Wife was not a very good hider, and her hiddenness was in vain as they soon found her. They dragged her out by her elongated earlobes and cried "dance around the third wife, don't she stink? Don't she smell? Stupid little Third Wife, she cant spell."


	2. Chapter the second

CHAPTER THE SECOUND

The Third Wife danced about in a circle until the vampires told her to stop.

"What's your name?" An especially tall and audacious vampire cooed to her.

"Third Wife." The Third Wife replied. She was frightened to her very core and started trembling as if cold. Never before had she thus been so scared.

She was thus surrounded by miles and miles of trees, punctuated by the occasional stream or tepee. The group of vampires had since carried her to a small clearing dead in the forest's centre. The clearing was edged by ferns, and it was small, perfectly round, and filled with wild-flowers – violet, yellow, and soft white. Somewhere nearby, the third wife could hear the bubbling music of a stream.

The vampires in the sunlight were shocking! Their herculean chests glimmered like the sunshine on a rising wave, and they stood, still as statues, watching the third wife in all her glory. All except the tall one; he walked around the third wife like an animal circling its prey.

"How old?" He asked.

"Excuse me?" The third wife replied.

"How old?" He asked again, anger sparking in his voice like a match!

"23 years, sir" she replied timidly.

The tall vampire was shocked by this sudden revelation of information. It was more than he could possibly imagine, the goddess in front of him had said her... AGE!

"Virgin?"

"No, I am the third wife of an eighty year-old chief, what do you expect?" She was getting bolder and bolder with her words. This surprised him immensely, but he enjoyed her attitude towards him - it was very refreshing for a man of his calibre. Most women grew capricious in his presence. It was nice to have a change.

"I expected better." He replied, his malicious voice twisting her very soul. He was trying to make her more afraid of him than she had been before, he didn't want her to know of his thoughts for her as they showed a friendly, compassionate man - not the baleful, angry creature he pretended to be. It was this acidic mask which he had hidden behind for some years now. Sometimes, he almost believed that it was his true self. But then again, with her, it seemed nothing more than a nightmare that he had in the distant past; she made him feel whole, complete, it was as though it was destiny. A destiny that had always been there, but that he had never noticed.

There was an awkward silence then, and a sudden gust of wind flew across the meadow, making the third wife tremble even more.

"Dammit, stop that!" She shouted at him. "I don't care that it's cold here, or that I stink of sweat right now. Make me forget how awful I am. Make me forget my husband. Make me forget my own name!"

"I w-" The vampire started to say. But suddenly, a large and villous beast burst from the ferns surrounding the meadow. He ran straight at the vampire, who pummelled him to the ground. Blood seeped into the ground and the wildflowers, changing their petals from white to a deadly pink that only made you think of death. The tall vampire towered over his victim, who was still rattling with breath, and laughed a fanatical cackle. The sound ricocheted through the dark forest, causing birds to fly from their nearby nests.

"How dare you come here!" He shouted angrily, scared for the third wife, petrified that she would get hurt, or run away from him because of the deadly scene that had just commenced. "I am so angry right now. Why are you here?"

The dog-like beast started trembling. A few seconds later a man was in his place, his stance was formal and guarded and he was covered in many scratches.

The dog-man replied in a rough voice, full of weariness and hatred, "I am here because you have taken the village's most prized possession. That woman is the most important thing to the chief and it is vital that we get her back, what is the cost? The chief will do anything for his wife."

The third wife was now very worried: she didn't want to part from the precious vampire before her. It was scary how attached she had grown to him even in such a short amount of time. Her very heart beat only for him. "No, I am not going back to the village, I am leaving with you" looking at the tall vampire in front of her.

"No, you should go back to be with your _husband_" growling at the word that caused him so much fury, the tall vampire carried on, "it is safer for you there." looking at the third wife with regret in his eyes.


End file.
